Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Waking up on the edge of a King Size.

I'm in Springfield, MO. At a Residence Inn. With my very own king size bed. Six fluffy pillows. My sweet wife at home running the house with no help ... and I go to bed early and wake up on the edge of the bed.

I tried to spread out and consume as much of the comfy freedom that my employer is so gracefully providing on this futile business trip. Alas, I found myself balled up on the edge, making certain I would not miss out on any information the foreign alarm clock had to share.

After all, it's a work week. Not traveling much anymore would make it nonsensical for me to subconsciously deny my wife's sleeping space. I must admit that it's comforting to know my marriage has that much of an impact on my inate sensibilities.

On the other hand, it does bring to thought some humorous truths that I call ...

The wife's sleeping space - safety first!

DISCLAIMER - keep in mind this is a generality and in whole or partially true in over 99% of all marital arrangements - this is NOT an exact reflection of the Welch household - I am trying to be funny, not stupid - I can easily apologize if I'm not funny.

DISCLAIMER 2 - Over 70% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

The wife's sleeping space consists of the following areas and disciplines:
  • The Cold Toes Region.
  • The Violent-Kick-To-The-Shins-Region (more prominent during times of pregnancy.)
  • The Ankle-slice-from-the-freshly-manicured-dagger-toe-nails Zone - nicely painted though.
  • The Ankle-slice-from-the-severely-neglected-broken-toe-nails Zone - not so nicely painted.
  • The Cold Turkey Spoon Eclipse ... why do their buttocks drop to -30 degrees during the winter?
  • The "sorry-about-the-get-away-from-me" arm swing drop.
  • And of course, the inevitable gentle-unraveling-of-the-sheets-to-get-what-little-coverage-you-can-manage-before-having-to-get-up-and-go-pee Maneuver.
To be fair - the women's list would/should be much longer, detailed and harsh - I understand that we men are much more difficult to sleep with - but I only have one accurate point of view.

Due to my involuntary understanding of these sleeping phenomenon, I woke alone in a king size bed, grasping to 2 feet of comforter, the corner of 1 pillow, on the edge of the bed, hoping I did not sleep in.

So one my entire posts actually matched the title! It's a story! And a boring one at that. So here are some Transom Links:
Looking towards December ...
Daily Manna ...

Daily Manna from the 'Net for Tuesday, September 9, 2008 Daily Manna XML Feed

'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48 NIV | Listen
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)